Department of Justice Secretary Aguirre is really bad at being sneaky

Photo from The Philippine Star

It’s been a crappy week in politics,” is a sentence you can say pretty much every week now, but the past few days have been especially nauseating. The Marcos family recently celebrated what would’ve been the late dictator and patriarch’s 100th birthday; Paolo Duterte’’s dragon tattoo may or may not connect him to a Chinese transnational crime syndicate; Mocha Uson got a free pass at performing at a casino.

So yeah, the last few days have been pretty gross, for sure. But there are some incidents that make politics seem less like the slow motion dumpster inferno it’s become and more like the laughable circus show it used to be. I mean, go for the lesser evil right?

The clown to jeer at here is Department of Justice Secretary Vitaliano Aguirre II who, not long ago, made headlines by asking what the difference was between a drug addict killing a kid and a cop killing one.

Recently though, a picture was captured by an anonymous source, showing Aguirre texting someone during a Senate hearing, relating to the case of Kian Lloyd delos Santos, one of the many innocent lives claimed by the president’s drug war.

See if that was it, we could chalk it up to incompetence and inattentiveness, but it doesn’t stop there. Senator Risa Hontiveros held a privilege speech calling Aguirre out on the text. If you enlarge and enhance the picture of the phone, you’ll see Aguirre conniving with a member of the Volunteers Against Crime and Corruption (VACC) (no, I doubt the irony is lost on anyone here) to expedite cases against Hontiveros. Now Aguirre is being called to resign for unbecoming behavior.

Guys. She literally had receipts. Welcome to the discourse.

What makes this whole debacle so amusing is how it makes Aguirre look like an amateur supervillain flubbing his master plan. He tries to surreptitiously send a text during a hearing, only for someone to take a readable picture of his text because the font of his phone is so damn big.

Plus the line “Her questions are leading questions” sounds like something you could only hear on House of Cards.

Now Aguirre is throwing a fit, claiming his right to privacy has been violated, which makes just about as much sense as punching someone in the face then suing them for injuring your fist. Another confirmation that some of our public servants are clowns.

So what, life imitates art? Politics is spectacle? What’s the lesson to be learned here? Maybe don’t concern yourself with petty feuds when there are more pressing matters to attend to. Or, don’t mess with Risa Hontiveros.

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